Title: Undecided
Exposition:
A high school biology teacher in New Mexico has recently made a discovery that he has stage 2 lung cancer. He comes after a sudden collapse at a dinner party he hosted with his wife. His family dynamic consists of him, his wife who works from home as a accountant, and his daughter. His brother in law however works in the local police force that has taken a new initiative to crack down on a growing drug abuse problem in their district. His only choice to help for pay the unavoidable medical bills and procedures needed to save his own life and still provide for his family is to work on the side using the skills he already has as a cocaine manufacturer.
Inciting Incident:
The man is hosting a dinner party and serving drinks when suddenly he collapses on his patio. This leads to his awakening in a hospital bed, and his doctor recalling the tests done while he was under, resulting in his diagnosis of stage 2 lung cancer.
Rising Action:
The man has been an honest citizen all his life, but in his studies at harvard, he remembered how a few of the biology majors would make some very pure cocaine to help pay their tuitions. The man has an inner conflict, either to use his knowledge to ensure his recovery, or to do the honorable, law-abiding thing and face death while leaving his family with a huge financial burden. this is resolved however when he comes into contact with a former colleague from college, who has now gone on to become a drug lord facilitating the shipment of cocaine over the mexican border and into new mexico.
Climax:
after a formal meeting with his former colleague, the teacher decides that his only option is to give in to temptation and cure his first batch, and in turn the drug lord supplies him. In his own high school chemistry lab, over spring break he makes the most pure cocaine ever seen on the market, and his payment is consequently doubled.
Falling Action:
He gives the cocaine to the boss in return for his pay, but seeing as how talented the professor is, the drug lord is greedy for another batch, and soon. But since the professor already has enough payment to pay his bills for months, he declines. This spurs an argument, and the drug lord leaves angry, but not before lighting the school on fire, with the professor still inside.
Denouement:
The professor uses his quick wit and knowledge of the chemical compounds to fight his way out of the school, only to seize on the school lawn, where he suffers a massive heart attack, and dies.
Spencer,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great story, and I especially like the characterization of the antagonist and protagonist listed above. However, I wonder if you know how much this plot resembles the TV show "Breaking Bad"? That's o.k., but it is close enough that you might have to give the show credit. Unlike the show, in which the teacher's partner is a former student, you've made the partner a former colleague. This is actually more interesting, because it leaves the teacher wondering if he made a mistake in his life by taking the high rode. I have a few questions:
1.) Will the brother-in-law play a role in increasing the tension/sense of danger in the story? In the TV show he gets the idea from the brother-in-law, indirectly...
2.) You said the protagonist's motivation is to ensure his recovery, but isn't death pretty much imminent, I mean, if it is stage 2 lung cancer? The character is both more reckless and more sympathetic if we know that he is actually doing this for his family, and death is inevitable for him.
3.) In the show (if you've seen it; I've only seen season 1), the wife is pretty awful. I wonder if you'll make her as awful. It seems like another way to make the character sympathetic.
--Ms. Mason