Exposition: My story is about a teenage girl, 18 years old, who lives in Oregon with her powerful yet dysfunctional family. Her father abuses her, and she has flashbacks of the cruelty he unleashes upon her. She is then sent to a boarding school in Orange County CA, so that she keeps quiet about the abuse because her father is running for governor of Oregon.
Inciting Incident: After two years of beatings, she is finally found, by her mother, in a pool of her own blood at the bottom of the main staircase. She finally tells her mom what has been happening to her, but her mother is so repressed that she refuses to believe her daughter. She threatens to send her daughter to a psychiatric ward is she doesn’t stop telling lies, but for good measure Gwen is sent away to Ocean Academy, a boarding school in Orange County, CA.
Rising Action: The teenager goes to Ocean Academy, but is only a ghost of the person she used to be. She lives in a dorm and in her first week she meets a trio of boys who take her in. The treat her like a normal person, but soon she starts falling for the handsome soccer star in the trio. As they become closer, and spend romantic nights on the beach talking, he starts to realize she has a sticky past. He vows he will do anything to get past her walls.
Climax: One night, the teenager has a horrible flashback while she is sleeping and she cannot stay in the dorms any longer. She tries to pack up her stuff and run away, but the boy is close behind her. She tells him about her “dream,” while sobbing and he understands that it is not a dream. He doesn’t know what to say, and he has no idea how to comfort her.
Falling Action: After that night she goes back to see her father the next day. She tells him she’s getting all her stuff, and that after high school she’s never coming back. She also says that he might have won in the political field, but he failed her as a father, and that she was done feeling guilty about what he had done to her. She also tells him that if he ever touches her little sister, she will kill him. She leaves before he has a chance to say anything.
Denouemente: The story ends with the girl walking into her dorm room, dropping her stuff and walking out onto the each where the boy playing sand soccer.
Hi Frances,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting loss of innocence/coming of age story that also contains a lot of family drama. It sort of reminds me of the books "White Oleander" and "This Boy's Life," both featuring evil parents of teens. I have a few questions:
--Is the mother's denial of her husband's cruelty due to her desire to keep living a lavish lifestyle?
--Will the girl ever threaten her father by saying she'll spill the truth about him to the media? This seems like a natural addition to the plot, though maybe your character just wants to be done with it?
--Does the father win the election in the end? Does it matter? Sometimes in a revenge story the antagonist is left totally destroyed, but this is not necessary, and maybe more original if he continues to prosper.
--Lastly, a comment. I'm interested in the trio of boys as they relate to the main character. Seems like she is looking for a father figure. I wonder if there is something else in her life that also gives her strength and independence, like a talent or hobby?
Good job!
Ms. Mason